09/25/06:

                At breakfast we reviewed everyone's plans for the day: Rodrick asked Yasai to show him some hand-to-hand moves and Yasai agreed to do so, Olivia was going to register for the competition, and I said that I was going to get together with Allison to see about paying the citizenship fees for all of the Yosemite Elves. You should have seen the look of relief on Allison's face!

                "But first I have to see how many are going to want to stay," I said. Allison and I went to find Colonel Nightshade and we asked around. It turns out they all want to stay.

                The Colonel told me, "For most of them this is the first time since the Change that they've experienced electricity and running water. Not to mention real beds and clean linens."

                "I understand that, I just hope they understand that they are going to have to out and find jobs, they're being given a citizenship, but after that - they're on their own."

                Allison and I headed for the vaults and Olivia joined us. Allison had called in two men from Mandalay to assist. One was a jeweler and the other an appraiser. They were both very impressed by what they saw, but the jeweler was amazed by the collection.

                "Do you know what these are?" he asked.

                "I've got an idea."

                "Do you know how old these are?"

                "I've got an idea."

                "Where did you get these? What museum did you raid?"

                "I got them from a friend."

                "What museum did your friend raid?"

                "I'll never tell."

                "Well, your 'friend' has amazing taste."

                I laughed, "I'll give Hiram your compliments, next time I see him."

                "Hiram?"

                "My friend."

                "Well, Hiram has exquisite taste."

                The appraiser was busy weighing items and making notes of figures. The jeweler was appalled at the thought of melting down any of the items and appealed to me. I told him, "Hey! I'm in favor of keeping them in the state they're in. If someone can pay for them - but who can do that? I was given all of this for a purpose, and that purpose is my number one concern."

                He wouldn't give up, "But, but - look at these things! They all have amazing historical significance! Please, may I take some samples to Lord Mandalay? Maybe I can convince him to keep these beauties intact."

                "Sure," I said, "give it a shot." So they took a few items and left. They returned a bit later with two big, burly men in full body armor carrying two large cases. They conveyed Mandalay's compliments and his offer of 12 million in chips for the lot.

                I thought to myself, "A profit of two million in one day? Not bad." But I couldn't make it look that easy so I hemmed and hawed, "I don't know about that. It's a generous offer, but I'm just not sure that it sounds right."

                That was when Phillips walked in. "His Magnificence, Lord Caesar, has heard of this collection of antiquities and has sent me as his agent."

                "Can no one in this town keep a secret?!?" I asked to no one in particular.

                Phillips ignored me and said, "Lord Caesar offers you 15 million, plus two floors at the Palace to house the collection."

                Mandalay's man immediately countered with, "20 million."

                I turned to Phillips, but Olivia beat me to it and said, "What about a plaque with Jazz's name on it?"

                Phillips nodded his consent.

                Mandalay countered again, "20 million, two floors at the Mandalay. And a statue!"

                I said, "I don't know. Caesar has been such a good friend to us, from the very beginning." I was thinking that it would be worth 5 million to yank Mandalay's chain a bit. His man called in on his cell phone for further instructions.

                "Yes sir, I understand." He then offered, "22 million, two floors and a statue - twice life size, in bronze. And his Greatness will arrange to have two of the contenders for the Aladdin withdraw from the competition."

                Phillips shrugged his 'disappointment'; "Lord Caesar withdraws his offer. He cannot top that."

                "Then I accept Lord Mandalay's generous offer." I said.

                Mandalay's man paused for a moment. "You skinned us."

                "Like a cat," Phillips said with a polite bow as he left.

                The man swore under his breath before telling me, "Lord Mandalay will keep his word. Think about the pose you want for the statue. An artist will be sent in a day or so."

                Allison watched as they counted out 22 million in chips and then let them take the chests.

                Once they were gone, Alfred walked in; "Did Phillips get here in time?"

                "He did indeed. Did you call him?"

                "I did and I'm sure that Caesar is laughing his ass off right now."

                Allison took the money to pay for the 300 citizenships and her cut of the exchange and I thanked her for her help. She looked at the chips in her hand and said, "No, thank you, Lady Jacinta."

                So with that all taken care of, Olivia was off to register for the competition. Karyn was going with her (as bodyguard until she becomes business manager) and so were Alfred and myself. Rodrick and Yasai expressed an interest in seeing how these things worked, so they went, too.

                We got to the Hard Rock and found several news crews waiting for contenders to come register. They shouted lots of questions, including asking if Yasai was going to be Olivia's champion. Olivia assured them that she would be fighting for herself.

                Guards at the door stopped Olivia; "The fee to register is 100,000 chips. What right do you have to register?"

                "I have the fee, I am a citizen of Las Vegas, and the domain is open. Besides - I'm the one who wasted Luxor, leaving the domain open, dammit."

                A Beta Drow appeared behind them and said, "She meets the requirements - let her pass."

                They stepped aside and let us enter. Inside there were representatives from several different people; they saw us and cell phones appeared as they called their people to report. At the desk, Olivia was told that Lord Hard Rock required that she pay not just the entry fee but the one million chip domain registration fee as well.

                "Why?" Olivia demanded.

                "To verify that you have it."

                "Are all contestants required to do the same?"

                "No."

                I leaned in and said, "Call Mandalay Bay - he can verify it for you."

                I was soundly ignored.

                Olivia said, "Maybe Lord Las Vegas Hilton would like to hear about this."

                "It is not a law - and none of his concern. This is the demesne of Lord Hard Rock."

                I tried again, "Call Mandalay Bay. He can confirm to you that I have the money to pay the fee." (I don't know why, but I felt that it was important to keep Olivia's money a secret for the time being.)

                The man at the desk said, "So you pay it, then. Now."

                "I will pay it just as soon as she wins the domain and not a moment sooner."

                His phone rang and he answered it. "I understand, sir."

                He said to us, "Very well, here is your receipt for the 100,000." He looked at Yasai and Rodrick and said, "You do understand that champions are not allowed?"

                "I do. And I'll even leave the squeaky mouse at home," Olivia said.

                One of the news producers asked his crew in a loud whisper, "Please tell me you got that on tape!"

                "Oh yeah. I got it!"

                As she left the desk, the news producer asked Olivia to hold up the registration form for people to see once she got outside. "And if you could 'celebrate' a little - that would be great."

                "Need you even ask?" I said to him.

                Outside, more questions were shouted and one crew got Yasai on tape saying, "I'm just here trying to figure out how to get the money to enter one of these stupid contests." Olivia even got a plug in for New Babylon. She was just saying how it was going to offer "Girls, Girls, Girls", when Rodrick yelled, "Take cover!"

                He had seen a man making his way thru the crowd, ignoring everyone but us. When he got close, he looked up and did something with the ball cap he'd been wearing. Rodrick followed his glance upwards and saw six men with rifles breaking windows out.

                As Rodrick opened fire with his Stoner, the rest of us followed the broken glass up to where they were on the fourth floor. He hit three of them, knocking them backward for a time. He opened fire again, and again was right on target. Karyn followed suit and peppered the concrete next to the window.

                Down on the ground there was only one person not scattering to get out of the line of fire - the guy in the ball cap. As I spotted him, he was drawing a weapon of his own, and I opened fire on him. Only one of the three shots I got off hit him though. Olivia also connected with a shot.

                There were shots coming from above now and three of Dallas' news crews were killed. Someone upstairs fired at Karyn and hit her twice. Boy was she pissed!

                And then I was hit. Before I could recover, another one opened up on me and nailed me again. I was bleeding somewhere, but I couldn't stop to worry about that now.

                Someone - I don't know where the shots came from - shot Yasai. He shook it off and pulled on some Magic to build a barrier around himself. Then he used some more Magic and rose up off the ground until he was level with the gunmen. Rodrick was firing again and took out two of the men upstairs while Karyn injured another. I was still firing at the guy on the ground and hit him once more, as did Olivia, but the guy would not drop!

                Back upstairs, the man that Karyn had injured managed to get back to his feet, but was so unsteady he lost his balance as he fired and shot two of the men in the room with him. One had a bead on Olivia, but missed. Then two of them opened up on Yasai. He was hit repeatedly and fell to the ground. Hard.

                I was trying to bring my gun up to fire at the ground target when more shots came from above...

                The next thing I knew, I was lying in the back of Alfred's limo. It was at the front plaza of the Excalibur. Slash was standing in the open door, her hands stretched upwards as she prayed over me.

                I remember thinking, "Not again," and I realized that the 'tickling' that I felt was the bullets being slowly pulled out of my body.

                Much later - I watched everything that had happened after I…well, died…on Jim's late night news show. I hit the ground as a volley from above missed Rodrick. He used the grenade launcher on the Stoner to send a grenade up and into the room, then followed that with three more bursts. Between the grenade and the bullets - he took out the last three upstairs. In the meantime, Karyn had turned her attention to the guy on the street and dropped him.

                Olivia ran to where I was lying and yelled, "Jazz is dead, Rodrick - check on Yasai!" He pulled out that magical medical kit he got in Sacramento and applied some of the bandages. That brought Yasai back to consciousness and then, slowly to full health.

                Olivia told me that she had Sent a quick message to Morag, telling him that I had been killed and she needed him to bring me back.

                "A Klingon?" I asked, "You asked a Klingon to bring someone back from the dead? What did he say to that?"

                "'Khaless does not permit such a thing. I will light a fire and compose a song in her memory.'"

                "How touching," I said.

                Olivia said, "Then I told him, 'But don't tell Malcolm. I might be able to fix it'."

                "Fix it?" I said. "Like with duct tape?"

                Anyway, on the tape, Olivia looked around and screamed for Alfred. He appeared and yelled, "Grab her body, put her in the car!"

                The tape showed the limo speed away while Rodrick and Yasai stayed behind to 'clean up'. They collected all the weapons and ammo that they could, including seven Galil assault rifles and ammo to go with them. While they were at it, they noted that all of the men were openly wearing Luxor's colors and the emblem of his personal honor guard.

                Then Rodrick confronted the Hard Rock security people, demanding to know why they had done nothing and, "Do you routinely allow armed people to rent rooms?"

                "Yes we do, and we were doing our jobs - protecting the Lord Hard Rock's property. His people will be sending a bill to Lord Excalibur for the damages."

                That was enough for Yasai; he hauled off and hit the guy with a flurry of punches, the last of which snapped the guy's neck. Then he kicked the guy's body, just for good measure. The rest of the security people snapped their weapons up into position. As did Rodrick and Yasai.

                A calm little voice cried out, "Hold!"

                Everyone turned to see who it was. A little Moon Elf was holding up her Street Judge badge and walked between Rodrick, Yasai and the Hard Rock people. Once she was sure she had everyone's attention she said, "This Hotel has been the willing accomplice in an assassination attempt on an Overlord. Anyone wanting to risk this Overlord his domain, please take one more step forward."

                Rodrick took a big step. The Judge actually smiled (sort of), "No. Not you. Them." Rodrick just shrugged and stepped back.

                The Judge addressed Rodrick and Yasai. "Lord Las Vegas Hilton suggests you go home. Unless you care to make a claim?" They looked confused so the Judge explained their rights and said, "But your claim would be against the head of security, who I believe is lying dead at your feet. That would leave the Hotel Manager."

                That was the guy that Olivia and I had been dealing with earlier. As everyone's attention turned to him, he wet himself. Yasai and Rodrick wrinkled their noses, declined to press a claim, and took Lord Hilton's advice and left - taking the head of security's body with them. Yasai grabbed an ankle and hauled it out to the curb. He and Rodrick were looking for transportation when Alfred's limo returned for them. They strapped the body to the hood like a deer and returned to the Excalibur.

                Meanwhile, back at the Excalibur, I thanked Slash for her help as she helped me out of the limo. I sent a grateful prayer of thanks to Ellistrae, as well. And I am pretty sure I heard Her say, "You owe me another one, Dad."

                Olivia asked Slash, "But how did you know? Oh! You saw it on the news?"

                "Right, and I came straight over here."

                Olivia said, "Jazz, you'd better clean up - you're a mess." They helped me up to my room.

                I was in the shower when Leo showed up. He yelled at Olivia, "Where is she?!?"

                "She's in the shower."

                "You dumped her in the shower?!?"

                Olivia said, "She's fine! Slash brought her back."

                He rushed into the bathroom, threw the shower curtain aside (more like ripped it down, actually) and jumped in. He hugged and kissed me, "Oh my God! You are alive! I thought I'd lost you."

                He had me in a bear hug and I looked at the curtain on the floor and said the first thing that came to my mind, "Alfred's gonna make you pay for that."

                He let me go, got down on one knee and pulled a small velvet box out of his pocket. Then he looked up and said,"Will you marry me?"

                When did life get so surreal? There was a man who I despised just a few months ago on his knee, in the shower, getting soaking wet, asking me to marry him, while I'm standing there wearing nothing but some soap. How could I say no?

                So I said, "Yes. Could you get me some clothes?"

                He got up, ran out to Olivia and yelled, "She said 'yes'!"

                "To what?"

                "Yes!" He grabbed some clothes and brought them to me. Once I was clean, dry and clothed we joined Alfred, Olivia and Slash in my room. Olivia was 'Ooh'-ing and 'Ah'-ing over the ring (which I finally noticed was pretty huge) and Leo told her that he had another one, a smaller one for me to wear on less formal occasions.

                "Like the next time I die?" I asked.

                No one laughed.

                I thought it was funny.

                I kill me.

                That was when Rodrick and Yasai showed up. Yasai was still dragging the corpse by its ankle.

                "Good, you're alive," he said. "Can you question this guy?"

                "Wow! Leo gets me a ring and you two bring me a fresh corpse. How sweet."

                Yasai moved the body to the center of the room and we all gathered around it. I took a deep breath and managed to find some Power.

                "Were you in on the attack?"

                "Of course."

                Before I could ask another question, Alfred held up a hand. "Stop! Does anyone have a video camera?" No one did. So he called Allison, who quickly appeared with a digi-cam and a tripod. Alfred set it up and signaled for me to continue.

                "Was Lord Hard Rock in on the attack as well?"

                "Naturally, it is his hotel."

                "Who else was involved and what was the plan?"

                "Lord Luxor's Honor Guard felt the need to avenge his death so they approached Lord Hard Rock. He felt it was a personal insult having non-felines as Overlords and he couldn't stand the thought of there being yet another."

                "Was Lord Excalibur a target?"

                "Not yet, but his time will come."

                I said, "They can't kill you Alfred. That'll really piss me off."

                The dead man said, "Sure they can - at her funeral. t will be easy."

                "Is Lord Bellagio a target, also?"

                "As soon as it can be arranged."

                I couldn't get anymore out of him so Allison's people took the body away. Alfred gave Allison the camera and asked her to have three copies made on disc, "And put the original in the vault, will you?"

                Olivia jumped up and said, "I've got to call Cordelia!"

                She used the mirrors and found Morag was waiting, "I need to speak to Cordelia."

                Morag said, "She is here. You raised her didn't you?"

                "I told you I'd fix it!" Olivia said.

                "But she had earned her place in Sto-Vo-Kor."

                "She wouldn't go there, doof! She's an Elf!"

                But Morag was adamant; "She should have been left alone."

                "May I speak to Cordelia?"

                Morag said, very loudly (even for him), "Your Majesty - the ambassador requests that you sit on your ass while she speaks to her sister!"

                Cordy appeared in the mirror, "Is Jazz really alright?"

                "She is! And Leo proposed! And she actually said yes! They're getting married!"

                Leo and I looked at each other and rolled our eyes.

                But they weren't done - they started in on dresses, and flowers and rings.

                "Oh right! The ring!" Olivia said and grabbed my hand and held it so Cordy could see the ring.

                Finally they finished and Malcolm replaced Cordy. "So how did you manage to get my ambassador killed?" Well, now, it's been awhile since we checked in, so Olivia started with the Get Out of Jail Free card. When she was done, Malcolm said, "I'm sensing another shoe…"

                Olivia nodded, "We've got proof that Alfred and Dallas are the next targets."

                "Well, that can't be allowed, now can it?" Malcolm said. "Try to be discreet."

                Olivia was insulted; "We're always freakin' discreet!"

                Malcolm just sighed, "Report as soon as you can, and Jazz - do be more careful."

                Allison returned with three discs that she gave to Alfred.

                He handed them to me, "So Jazz, where to first? Caesar or Las Vegas Hilton?"

                I thought out loud, "Hilton's not too happy with us right now, and I guess we owe it to Caesar to let him know first - so Caesar."

                Alfred called Jim to let him know that a meeting was imminent and then called Caesar. Caesar was annoyed that Alfred wouldn't tell him what was up, but accepted that it was important, "I'll call the other major players for an immediate meeting."

                I asked Olivia for the clothes I'd been wearing. She'd stashed them in a trash bag so that they wouldn't upset Leo. I put them back on and Yasai and I were quite the sight - all blood and bullet holes. We got to the limo just as Alfred's House Mage finished cleaning all the blood out of it - I tried not to think about it. The news crews were waiting at the Stratosphere and Phillips was not amused. He greeted Alfred by saying, "You're supposed to call Caesar first."

                There was quite a stir among the crews when Leo helped me out of the car. Phillips took my hand, "I am glad to see that you are still with us, but couldn't you have changed?"

                "I could have."

                "Ah! I see, it's for dramatic effect."

                "But not nearly dramatic as this," and I held up one of the discs.

                "This sounds bad," Phillips said.

                "Oh! It is," I assured him.

                "And we brought a copy just for you," Olivia said.

                He sighed, "I'm afraid I am now required to ask - does anyone have a Get Out of Jail Free card? No? Then let me show you another new feature."

                It was a weapons checkroom.

                "Everyone must check all weapons and wands before entering the conference rooms." He did let Olivia and I keep our Healing wands, though.

                He noticed Olivia's stimulus wand, "And what does that one do?"

                Rodrick asked, "Have you ever had multiple orgasms?"

                "Not since I left the Philippines. Leave it here."

                In the conference room, everyone was seated and waiting. Caesar said, "Excalibur - you called this meeting - what do you have for us?"

                I handed one of the discs to him and he said, "Lord Caesar, we have a short little home movie to show you." Phillips got a player and took the disc. Alfred put his hand out and I gave him another copy - that one went to Jim.

                When the disc was finished playing, everyone was staring at Hard Rock. L.V. Hilton said, "All right then, who is formally presenting this challenge?"

                Before I could say a thing, Yasai stood and said, "I am."

                Hilton nodded and turned to glare at Hard Rock, "Lord Hard Rock: Welcome - to another edition of Thunderdome! Tonight!"

                Hard Rock snarled at Yasai, "Very well, you ill-grown primate - are you ready?"

                Yasai just smiled at him.

                "Is 8:00 good for everyone? Good. See you all then," Hilton said.

                As the meeting broke up, Jim pulled Yasai aside for some advice, "Get the first shot in, keep him off balance."

                We explained the rules to him and he seemed quite confident. Caesar caught us before we left, "I can't believe this is all happening."

                "They forced us to do it," I told him. He nodded sadly and let us go.

                We returned to the Excalibur until it was time for Thunderdome. Yasai got himself a good meal, Olivia spent the afternoon with Slash and Rodrick got his hands on some blue prints and spent the time reviewing them. I changed clothes - this time making sure the bloody clothes were gone for good - and spent a quiet afternoon with Leo.

                Alfred rounded everyone up when it was time to go. As we approached the arena we saw security hauling a man away, trampling the sign he'd been carrying; it read, "John 3:16." Oh please! Apparently he didn't have a preaching license.

                As we left the limo we were mobbed by the press, but all Yasai would say to them was, "I'm going to kill him." We got settled in our seats inside while Yasai was taken to the prep area. Lord Rio asked him if he would require any type of religious services, a Priest or Priestess?

                "No, I'm, good," Yasai assured him.

                The house lights dimmed and the spotlights, sound effects and fog machine kicked in. L.V. Hilton patted down both contenders and reviewed the rules one more time. While he was going thru all that rigermorol. I could feel Yasai pulling on Power to activate several spells. At one point, I'm sure that he was 'floating' about an inch off the ground.

                Then Hilton was closing the door and the spotlights were on the combatants. Hard Rock's pelt was glowing, it was so white. At Hilton's signal to begin, Yasai let an energy blast of some kind fly. It hit Hard Rock and slammed him against the bars.

                Actually - it slammed him thru the bars - in bits and pieces. It was so much like a Gallagher show I couldn't help laughing.

                Hilton proclaimed, "We have a winner!"

                Hard Rock's 'friends' were totally stunned.

                "I didn't even get my popcorn," I said.

                Caesar greeted Yasai as he came out of the cage."Hail, the new Overlord of the Hard Rock!"

                "So what do I do now?" Yasai asked him, "Go to the Hotel?"

                "Yes, but first, you must greet your people," and Caesar escorted him outside to announced him with all of the pomposity he could muster.

                Yasai countered it with some of his own; "I am so glad that justice was served and that I could prevail, here in the halls of justice."

                Olivia asked me, "So, do you feel avenged?"

                I looked at the cat chunks in the first few rows of seats, "Pretty fucking avenged, I'd say."

                Caesar escorted Yasai to his limo. There was a Beta Drow in the back, busily cleaning out the Cat hair, "Just one more moment, Your Greatness."

                Yasai pointed at him and asked Caesar, "I get him, too?"

                "Indeed, everything that belonged to the previous Overlord," Caesar told him.

                "Good. He might know what's going on. What's your name?"

                "I have none, Your Greatness."

                "Okay…I'll call you Oolong - live with it," Yasai told him.

                Oolong bowed and scraped a bit, "Yes, Your Greatness, should I run home now?"

                "No! Get in."

                "Of course Your Greatness, may I fix you a drink?"

                "I don't drink," Yasai told him.

                "Oh, I'm sorry, Your Greatness."

                "How about some water? Or some green tea?"

                "There is no tea, I am so sorry Your Greatness, I will run and get some for you."

                "No, really - water is fine, and how about a report on the Hotel?"

                Oolong almost wet himself that time, "Maxwell could help you with that, Your Greatness. I know nothing about such matters."

                Alfred asked, "So Lord Hard Rock, party at your place?"

                When we all got there, the entire staff was lined up waiting for their new Lord. Oolong introduced Yasai to Maxwell - the guy who had pissed himself in the lobby earlier today.

                "Good thing I didn't take you out this morning, eh Maxwell?" Yasai asked.

                "Yes, Your Greatness," Maxwell managed.

                "Tell me Maxwell, are we making money?"

                "Yes, Your Greatness."

                "Excellent! What do we do?" and they went inside to discuss it in private.

                The Hotel staff had everything ready for a celebration and Rodrick asked Alfred if Allison could get the night off to join us. So Alfred called and had her come join the party. As the party continued, Yasai had his hands full with the lesser Overlords schmoozing him for favors.

                Glad I'm not him!

Continued...