09/17/06

                Olivia paid a visit to Lucifer today, to ask him his opinion for a location for her club. He suggested the Glitter Gulch; "It's available now that Sakarra's in Kingman. But watch out - she'll probably want something bizarre for it."

                "Well she already owes me for taking Ilsa off her hands. We'll see."

                She returned to the Excalibur and asked Allison to have Scooby readied for a short road trip. Then she asked me if I thought it was time to present ourselves to Caesar.

                "Hmm, let's see - we've been back for more than two weeks, we probably should."

                So we made ourselves presentable, dug out our official papers and went to the Stratosphere. Caesar accepted the documents and said with a bow, "Welcome back Ambassadors."

                We introduced Rodrick as the newest member of the team.

                "What interesting hair you have," Caesar said.

                Rodrick decided to accept that as a compliment, "Thanks! I believe hair makes the person."

                "Tell me, how do you get it to stand up like that?"

                "Egg-whites, sugar, a little gelatin."

                "How…interesting."

                "You should try it."

                "I'll pass, thank you. Be welcome in Las Vegas." Then he turned to Olivia and I, "Yesterday - what were you thinking? I mean, really! Whatever possessed you?"

                I said, "Lucifer asked us."

                "And you said, 'yes'?"

                "Indeed," I said. "We saw it as an opportunity to assist our valuable allies here in Las Vegas to keep the peace and thereby strengthen the powerbase of the Overlords in this strategically vital region."

                Alfred, Olivia and Rodrick just stared at me. Caesar sniffed, "Yes, I know, I saw my mate's press conference."

                "Oh? And did this cause some domestic problems between you two?" Rodrick inquired. Caesar admitted that what annoyed him was that Luxor found out about it before he did.

                Rodrick nodded, "Ahhhh, a communications problem. Why not just divorce her now?"

                Caesar was stunned and decided to think that Rodrick was joking, "Divorce, for us, is - complicated."

                "Too bad."

                "So, I have your diplomatic papers and I accept them and you. What else can I do for you today?"

                Olivia spoke right up, "Remember those planes that we sent you?"

                "Which planes?"

                "The very large transport planes," I reminded him.

                "Oh yes, those planes. $500,000.00 each."

                "That's all?" Olivia asked.

                "How much do you want for them?" he demanded.

                "Enough to buy the Glitter Gulch."

                "Pay Hilton $100,000.00 and go punch out Sakkara."

                "And be the Overlord of the Glitter Gulch?" Olivia asked.

                Caesar shook his head, "The Glitter Gulch is not, in itself a Domain - it's just property. You would be its owner."

                I said, "Hold on, there's a hitch with the planes."

                "Yes?"

                "King Malcolm wants to reserve use of them."

                "For what?"

                "They've had an exceptional harvest, he wants to bring the excess here to trade or sell."

                "For what?"

                "Uh, fair market value?"

                Olivia assured him that we would find out at the next weekly staff meeting. I just gaped at her.

                Caesar paused for a moment, "Very well, he may have use of them."

                Rodrick leaned forward, "So we're agreed 1.2 million for both of them?'

                "1.2 million? How do you figure that?"

                "It's easier to split six ways," he said with a shrug.

                Caesar returned the shrug with a small laugh, "Fine - deal," and with that he walked us to the door. "Will you go to Kingman to see Sakkara?"

                "I believe I will," Olivia said.

                "On the way - will you keep your eyes open?"

                "For giant scorpions?" Olivia asked.

                "I have seen those reports and people have been seeing things stealing our crops."

                "Things?" I asked "Things that look like…?"

                "Like people. Humans, big ugly humans. And more than one caravan has gone missing."

                "Sakarra hasn't been doing her job?" Olivia asked.

                "It's been occurring in other territories as well. Will you keep your eyes open?"

                "Always," I said. "This sounds like a job for the Scooby Squad!"

***************

                Now, earlier that morning, a man walked in from the desert. He was stopped at the city gates where they asked him what he wanted. He stared at them.

                "This is a city, I want to see it. I've got money."

                "How much?"

                "How much do I need?" The guards explained to him the complex workings of Vegas.

                He was appalled, "I need a permit to buy or sell something? I have nothing to sell and don't plan on buying anything."

                "Not even food?"

                "I've got some."

                "Water?"

                "Got some of that, too. Do I need a license to drink from a public fountain?"

                "You do if the owner of the fountain charges for the water."

                The man snorted, "Great little system you've got here."

                The guards shrugged. "Look, we've got food, water, electricity, a judicial system and order. We like it. If you don't, keep walking."

                The man decided to give it a try and was directed to Mandalay Bay for the permit. He passed a line of cabs and walked into town. At Mandalay Bay he encountered a family that was trying to get their permits but was unable to come up with the full amount. The man paid the difference, accepted their profuse thanks, got his own permit and left. He continued to wander around town, taking everything in. Finally, he stopped a woman on the street and asked, "Where is it legal for me to sleep?"

                "The hotels."

                "Nowhere else?"

                "Are you sworn to someone?"

                "Just myself," the man said.

                The woman deduced that he was new to town, explained the vagrancy laws and advised, "Make sure you keep enough money in your pockets to pay for a room. Even if you sleep in the street, if you have enough to pay for a room, you'll be okay."

                The stranger thanked her and continued on until he saw a sign for the Combined Temples of War and decided to go take a look. Inside, someone asked if he needed something.

                "Does anyone here teach martial arts?"

                "The Priest of Khaless offers classes."

                "Does anyone teach that 'Bruce Lee' shit?"

                "A few of the members do. Are you looking for lessons?"

                "If I can find anyone better than me, yeah."

                A young girl at the counter said, "Then you want Cedric, he the best!"

                "Oh really?"

                The girl showed him to the back training area and introduced Cedric to the stranger. He was taking a break from a beginner's Tae Kwan Do class that he was teaching.

                "How about some sparring?" Cedric asked. "To show my students what I've been talking about."

                "Sure."

                Cedric said, "I usually have a senior student evaluate new people."

                "Bring him on," the stranger said.

                Cedric gestured to someone, "Kyle, would you please evaluate Mr.…?"

                "Yasai. Just Yasai."

                Kyle asked Yasai for his preference.

                "Kicking the shit out of you to begin with." He was losing his patience now, but said it with a smile.

                Kyle smiled back. "It could happen." The two dropped into guard positions and circled.

                Yasai let loose with a flurry of blows to Kyle's face and body that ended with a roundhouse. They all connected and Kyle fell flat to the floor. Yasai stood over him and said, "You'll have to do better than that. Hit me! I'll stand still." A couple of students helped Kyle to the infirmary.

                "Next?" Yasai asked.

                Cedric stepped forward. The Priest of Khaless cried, "Khaless bets 500 on the new guy!"

                Cedric stopped and glared at the Klingon, "Thanks!"

                By that time, word had spread and people were gathering to watch so the Priest found some people to take that bet. Yasai and Cedric circled one another warily for a moment, until Cedric threw a punch that Yasai dodged, sending Cedric flying past him. Yasai whirled and proceeded to beat the crap out of Cedric.

                He backed away from where Cedric lay on the floor and looked around. "Next?"

                The Priest of Khaless collected his winnings, shrugged and said, "What the Hell."

                He stripped out of his robes and asked Yasai, "Do you fight with weapons?"

                "No."

                "Too bad," and he brandished his betleH. Yasai stepped back for a moment, just long enough to draw some Power to cover himself with some Magical armor and to speed up his reflexes. Then he attacked, striking the priest with three good, solid blows.

                The Priest approved. "That's the spirit!" He retaliated with a swing of the betleH, which Yasai ducked beneath. The momentum of the betleH carried it right out of the Priest's hands and into the crowd, which went scurrying in every direction!

                We were back at the Excalibur, finishing packing Scooby for the trip to Kingman, when the phone rang. It was the Priest of Crom calling for Olivia; "The Temple needs your help, Sister Olivia."

                "Sister Olivia? That's new. What's wrong?"

                "A guy walked into the Combined Temples and is kicking the shit out of all the Priests. I'm next and it might very well come down to you."

                Olivia said, "Really now? You didn't have much use for me when I visited before."

                "You don't understand - this guy is going to kick my ass!"

                She sighed, "Alright, I'll be right there." She asked us, and Rodrick and I agreed that we had to see this.

                Alfred was more civic-minded; "We should go help keep the peace." On the way there, he called Lucifer and told him not to send an assault team - we were on it!

                Yasai smacked the Klingon as he was trying to get his hands on his betleH. He gave up on that, snarled, and drew a smaller blade. Yasai saw that and jumped up and over him, kicking him in the ass. The priest fell face-first into the dirt. Yasai stomped on his back and did a back flip out of range. The Klingon got to his feet in a battlerage, growling, and charged Yasai. The knife just missed its mark and as he dodged the blade, Yasai threw a punch at the Klingon.

                The Klingon was able to dodge and grab Yasai's arm. He spun him and threw him to the ground, leaping on top of him. The Klingon was in mid-leap when Yasai pulld his legs up to his chest and kicked the Klingon backwards off of himself. He tumbled after him and inflicted some real damage with a flurry of blows to the midsection.

                Someone in the crowd yelled, "Hold!"

                Yasai stopped and backed away. Ingve, the priest of Crom, went to the Klingon to apply some Healing. And when the Klingon came to his senses, he stood and faced Yasai, "Good fight! Bring some bloodwine!"

                Yasai shook his head with a smile, "If you Klingons drank less - you might fight better."

                "And if you drank more - you'd be more fun!" the Priest countered.

                "Ahh, but I don't drink at all."

                "That is a pity, my friend!"

                Ingve stepped forward and asked Yasai, "So. Are we doing this the old fashioned way? I guess I'm next."

                Yasai held up his hands, "Look - I was just looking for someone who could teach me something. But if you insist - can I have a drink of water before we start?" A girl brought him a large glass and waited while he drained it.

                And that was when we arrived on the scene.

                We saw the Klingon priest sitting off to one side, bloodied, bruised and laughing his ass off. Ingve was just stepping into the ring with a stranger.

                He was human, or looked it anyway. A young man, it was hard to estimate an age. Tall - about six foot two. Big - 220 pounds or so - all muscle. He was wearing a gi with some sort of symbol on the back and a pair of moccasins. He had very white skin with very black eyes and lots of black hair that was floppy, yet somehow managed to stick up all at the same time.

                Ingve saw us arrive, "Oh thank Crom!"

                Olivia asked him, "So are you guys going to spar or what?"

                Yasai nodded, "So it seems."

                Ingve said, "I'm about to get my ass kicked."

                "But if it's just sparring - it's not really real," Olivia said.

                Yasai snorted and said, "It's not even sparring." He took a look at Alfred and asked Ingve, "If I kick your ass, I kick her ass - can I then fight him?"

                Olivia objected, "I'm not fighting anyone!"

                "Can we please just get on with this?" Ingve asked.

                "Oh, sorry, sure."

                So they circled each other, Ingve muttering something and his fists began to glow with a golden light. He lunged and threw some punches that Yasai dodged. He spun and returned the punches, and he connected. The glow on Ingve faded.

                Yasai stepped back, "How 'bout we quit this? We both know how this is going to end."

                Olivia told him, "There would be no dishonor in that."

                Rodrick agreed, "Know when to say when, man."

                "He's just going to hurt you more," I said.

                Ingve stubbornly refused, "No. Let's finish this." He threw a good solid punch that actually connected - and broke his hand with a loud 'crunch'.

                Several people called out, "Hold!"

                I went to see to Ingve's hand and Alfred said, "I'll be back."

                By the time I had healed Ingve's hand, Alfred was back wearing a borrowed gi. He bowed to Yasai and asked, "May I take a moment."

                Yasai returned the bow, "But of course." And while Alfred stretched, Yasai removed the top of his gi, revealing a shirt that said, "What Would Vegeta Do?" Alfred finished stretching and they were about to begin when Lucifer barged in along with twenty men in full riot gear.

                There was a stunned silence as everyone stared at them.

                "Overreact much?" I asked him.

                Olivia said, "Alfred called you! He told you we were on this."

                "He did - but then I received another call from someone named Cedric. He said something about an invading barbarian horde. I decided to error on the side of caution. It is my job, you know."

                Yasai was gawking, amazed, at Lucifer, "What is that?"

                Alfred said, "That is Lucifer, Overlord of the Venetian. He's in charge of Las Vegas Security."

                "I'd heard about the Cats, but I thought people were kidding me."

                "And I am Alfred, Lord Excalibur."

                "But you're not a Cat."

                "Very perceptive. And you are…?"

                "Yasai. Tell me, do they have females like that?"

                "They do."

                "Huh. Gives all new meaning to 'Pussy'."

                Alfred cautioned Yasai, "They have very good hearing and little to no sense of humor."

                "I thank you for the warning," Yasai said.

                "So, in the name of peace - when we are done, will you be happy?"

                Yasai laughed, "I was happy when I walked in! All I wanted was someone to teach me something. They all kept volunteering."

                "Do you still want to do this?" Alfred asked.

                Yasai shrugged; "I guess - do you use magic?"

                "No."

                "Then neither will I." With that Yasai lunged at Alfred and hit him with a flurry. Alfred countered and connected with some blows. Yasai struck again, but Alfred was still on his feet and struck back. Yasai was ready and waiting with more blows that sent Alfred reeling backwards. He regained his balance and held up a hand. Yasai backed off and Alfred shook his head to clear the cobwebs, "There was no one on the Res who could do anything like that. That was fun. I've wanted to do something like that since I saw 'The Octagon'."

                "I'd be willing to teach you," Yasai said.

                "I thank you."

                They bowed to each other and stepped out of the circle.

                Alfred re-joined us; "We should be going now."

                Olivia nodded and turned to Ingve; "You called for backup?"

                "Yes! He was going thru everyone here like Kleenex."

                Yasai walked over to us and asked, "Where are you going?"

                "Kingman, Arizona," I told him.

                "Oh. Why?"

                "I need to conduct some business with the Overlord there. She owns the Glitter Gulch and I need it," Olivia told him.

                "Need it?"

                "To build my lesbian bar."

                "There are that many lesbians left?"

                Lucifer was annoyed and interrupted, "Ahem? Should I be arresting this person, killing this person or offering him a job?"

                "None of the above?" I suggested.

                Olivia said, "They were just sparring."

                Lucifer said to Ingve, "So, there is no barbarian horde? Temple of War - puh-lease!" Then he turned to Yasai, "Should you want a job with the Las Vegas Defense Force, come see me." Then he turned and with his men, left.

                The Priest of Khaless handed Yasai a bag of chips, "Your winnings."

                "Thank you." Then he asked us, "When are you leaving?"

                "Tomorrow, now," Olivia said. "We're all at the Excalibur, would you like a room?"

                "Sure."

                Alfred said, "Since Olivia has already invited you to my establishment, would you like to join us? And if you will excuse my bluntness - what the Hell are you?"

                "I'm a Saiyan." No one had any idea what that was except for one kid who had been watching, and he was really impressed. Yasai continued. "I'm hoping to find more like me."

                Alfred changed clothes and we all went out to the limo. Yasai whistled, "Tell me - how did you get this gig?"

                "I beat the crap out of the previous guy."

                "Nice. I could do pretty well here," Yasai said.

                Alfred asked him if he needed any licenses.

                "For what? I've got my buying and selling papers."

                "For Preaching, Magic use, carrying weapons," Alfred told him.

                "Oh. Magic I guess and maybe a weapons one."

                After he said that, I checked him out - he was carrying nothing! Absolutely nothing!

                He must have seen me looking, "Please, no cavity search."

                "No problem there," I assured him.

                Back at the Excalibur - Allison asked, "Should I prepare another room, sir?"

                "Yes, please."

                "Can I have a jacuzzi?" Yasai asked.

                "Certainly," Allison said.

                "And a refrigerator?"

                "Of course."

                "And some food in the refrigerator?"

                "Naturally."

                "Great, I'm hungry!" Yasai said.

                Alfred said, "Why don't we all change clothes and have some dinner? Allison, would you please call ahead and warn them that we're bringing a very hungry guest with us."

                He told Yasai to feel free to use the pools and gym. "But watch out for Mitzi in the pool," Olivia warned.

                "Mitzi?"

                "She's a dragon," I said. "But just a small one."

                "Don't call her a baby, though - she hates that," Olivia warned.

                "Okay."

                Allison escorted him to his suite; "Do you require clothes? I can send a tailor up?"

                Yasai asked her, "Do I look naked?"

                "No sir, but you don't seem to have any luggage."

                Yasai grinned and patted his stomach; "I'm good."

                "Very good sir, here is your key, if you require anything, please call the concierge."

                "Do you have any video games?"

                So Allison arranged to have an X-Box and some games sent to his room after dinner. We all met for dinner and introduced Yasai to Leo. "So what brings you to Vegas?" Leo asked.

                Yasai stopped eating long enough to say, "I wander around, looking to learn things. Sometimes I find a place that has something beating them up. So I beat it up for them. What do all of you do?"

                "Pretty much the same thing, actually," I said.

                "Would you mind if I went to Kingman with you? I've never been there."

                "Not at all."

                We finished dinner (and holy cow, can that guy eat!), agreed to meet in the morning to go to Kingman and split up for the night. After seeing Yasai at the Temple, Rodrick was feeling a little intimidated and went to the gym to work out for awhile.

                When he'd finished there, he tracked down Allison to pay for the citizenship that Alfred had gifted him. As she took the money she said, "I'll take it but only because the hotel needs the cash. Lord Excalibur has been very generous to many people." They talked for a time and Allison ended up spending the night in Rodrick's room. I decided not to ask where the rest of his harem was.

                Olivia stopped Leo and I on the way out of the dining room and told me that she was worried about Slash - she hadn't heard anything from her since I Sent her that message when we got back to Vegas. "I might need your help, if you don't mind," she said.

                Leo kissed me, "See you later, good luck."

                So in her room, Olivia sent a message to Slash, asking "Is everything okay?"

                There was a wait before Slash responded, "Sorry. Wrong number."

                Olivia snapped back, "Fine! Don't pick up the letter from your mothers!"

                She responded with, "You need to pay more attention to whom you send messages."

                I said, "It sounds like she's being monitored."

                Olivia got her crystal ball and since she was so upset, I did the scrying spell. When the mist cleared, the crystal showed Slash in a conference room with some other Ka executives. They were waiting in complete silence. After some time had passed, the doors opened and a large Orc entered and gestured to one of the execs who turned a pale green. They left the room and some of the others, Slash included, began to pace.

                Then the door opened, but this time the Orc brought someone with him - or more like something. Something that looked like it had once been a Drow woman. She was malformed and had to walk on all fours. There were no eyes in her oversized head and she started sniffing around the room, stopping for a close sniff at each person in the room.

                When the Drow stopped in front of Slash, she froze up - clearly terrified. Olivia hissed at me, "Change the focus!"

                I quickly moved it to another one of the Orcs and as it moved so did the Drow. The Orc freaked out and tried to run. But the minute she got the door open, she was cut down by machine gun fire from the hallway.

                Olivia whispered, "The Drow."

                I moved the focus of the Scry to her. She sniffed the air, began twitching and then started to chase herself in a circle. I let the spell slowly move from her to the room in general. A large Orc stepped over the corpse to get into the room and said, "Very well, you have all been cleared, you may go."

                They all ran out of the room and into an elevator where lots of accusations and some punches began to fly. Slash ran out of the building and into her limo where she curled herself into a big fur coat in the corner of the seat and began to shake.

                "I'll be back," Olivia said and she teleported into Slash's limo. "What the Hell was all that?"

                "That was my boss."

                "And the woman with the big head?"

                "She works for him, one of his 'tools'."

                Slash's Klingon driver/security guard turned around and said, "Go. Now. They almost caught you this time. If you do not go, I will turn you in myself and claim the reward." Slash hesitated, and the Klingon said, "I'm dialing…"

                Olivia asked her, "Do you want to go to Vegas or to your place first?"

                Slash took a deep, shuddering breath, "Vegas. Now. I'm ready." And with a final thanks to her man, Olivia brought them both back to the Excalibur. When they had materialized, Slash let her Orc illusion die away and then broke down into hysterics. She finally calmed enough to explain that the Shareholders - I guess they 'own' Ka - had discovered her activities and had narrowed it down to the people who had been gathered in that room.

                Her greatest fear was that she would be found out and executed - again and again. The Shareholders like to bring you back for more, apparently. "While they were investigating, I was held in a gulag in the Valley for three weeks." She collapsed into Olivia's arms and I told Olivia to let me know if they needed anything and slipped out of the room and back to Leo.

09/18/06:

                Slash joined us for breakfast - but I was the only one who knew who she was.

                "Another club patron?" Rodrick asked. Olivia made introductions and explained how and why Slash was in Vegas. After breakfast, Alfred announced that it was time to hit the road. Olivia asked Slash if she wanted to go with us.

                "No, thank you," she said. "I'll stay here and lay low for awhile."

                The trip to Kingman was uneventful until we reached the guard post. They waived us to stop and asked us our business.

                "I need to speak to Sakkara," Olivia said.

                "Yeah! You and who else?" one of the guards sneered.

                "She and Lord Excalibur," I said.

                Alfred leaned forward where he could be seen, "Lord Excalibur to see Lady Sakkara."

                "Oh, pull the other one for awhile."

                Alfred was as calm as always, "Ask the Lady."

                Another man appeared and punched the guy in the shoulder, "That's him, you idiot. I've seen him on TV."

                An officer joined them, saluted Alfred and said, "Sir! We didn't know you were coming."

                Alfred said, "It's personal business."

                "Of course, sir. We'll call ahead for you." They stepped back and as his men were opening the gate, he chastised them, "I gave you the photos to study - did you even look at them?"

                In town we were directed to a parking space near Sakarra's headquarters and we were told that the Lady was waiting for Alfred. On our way in, Alfred pointed out the brothel to Yasai.

                "I'll stay with you, I don't want to gamble with my dick," Yasai said.

                "I've got some handy little Healing spells for that sort of thing," I told him.

                "Thank you, but I prefer to stay away from the working girls."

                In her office, Sakkara was wearing a formal kimono and looking very Japanese, "Welcome to Kingman. What do you want?"

                Olivia said, "The Glitter Gulch."

                "But that was my only profitable business. How much will you pay?"

                "75,000 chips."

                Sakkara thought for a moment, "Maybe we can work out a deal."

                "Like what?"

                Sakkara got to her feet and said, "Oh my assistant will handle that." And with that, she swept out of the room. Her Drow assistant, Rosalinda, greeted us and said, "Guards have been disappearing from her farms."

                "We heard," I said. "Fire breathing, fifty foot long scorpions."

                Rosalinda actually smiled, "One scorpion has actually been seen, it was about ten feet long. But other mutants have been showing up, from the hills we believe. We've had these problems for about a month now. The latest sighting was near Lake Havasu." Olivia, Alfred and I all exchanged a look. Goody!

                Rosalinda continued, "Take care of the 'monsters' and I'll tell her that you negotiated me down to 50,000 chips." That taken care of, she turned to Yasai and gave him a good long look. "You're not Drow - but I don't mind. Tell me, are you sterile?"

                "I have no idea."

                "Hmmm, would you care to spend the evening with me?"

                "Sure, why not, you're not a working girl."

                "I work for Sakkara."

                "Yeah, but you don't work across the street."

                Rosalinda linked arms with Yasai and started to lead him out of the room, "You realize this means nothing, gives you no rights?"

                "Hey," said Yasai, "this is just a fuck of convenience where I'm concerned."

                "Good," Rosalinda practically purred, "My rooms are this way," and the door closed behind them.

                "Okay, then," I said.

                Olivia laughed, "I'll get the rest of us some rooms." She left and found someone to help us with that - and so we spent the night in Kingman.

Continued