2-20-05:

                We were up at dawn, and I think that Olivia is starting to change, her skin looks darker and her eyes look a little strange, but I didn’t say anything, and if anybody else noticed, they didn’t say anything, either. We consulted some AAA maps and topographic maps that were scrounged up for us, we packed what supplies we thought we might need and took off in Michael’s truck and his new Hummer.  We traveled along a railroad right-of-way, staying off of the roads so we wouldn’t run into trouble. And we did pretty good, the few cars we did see, just kept on going, not bothering us so we didn’t bother them. Then in the afternoon we came out of this big arroyo that we had been in for awhile and found ourselves on a bridge, and right under us traveling perpendicular to us was a whole row of tanks. But there we were, right out in the open! One of them spotted us and the turret started to turn towards us. Both drivers floored it. There was a big explosion and the bridge disintegrated right behind the truck! We didn’t look back, just kept going as fast as we could! When we finally slowed down, we appeared to be alone. If someone was following, we couldn’t see them.  So we kept going for a few more hours ‘til dusk, Michael and Malcolm decided it wouldn’t be safe to be traveling in the open with the headlights to give us away. We set up camp a little ways up a service road off of the one we’d been traveling on. 

                While we were driving today, I had a lot of time to think about what happened last nite. At first, I was horrified by what Olivia did, but the more I thought about it, she saved the lot of us. If she hadn’t acted as fast as she had, the Horde would have taken advantage of the opportunity, and who knows how many they could have killed. But what happened to the Horde? They’ve always been a pain in the ass, but aside from a few drunken brawls, they’ve never hurt anybody before. What suddenly turned them into the cold-blooded killers that they have always pretended to be? And then, and this has cost me a lot of thinking time, what the Hell did I do last nite? Was it me? It couldn’t have been. How could I have healed Justine’s fractured spine? But it had to be me, I was the only one there, and I felt some kind of power flowing thru me. But what was it? I’ve never believed in Faith Healers, they have always turned out to be total frauds, but something was working thru me last nite. And I don’t know what (or who) it was. And something else I find disturbing, last nite after the battle, I saw how people were looking at Olivia, as if they were afraid of her. Well this morning, I noticed people looking at me in much the same way. And Justine is obviously uncomfortable around me. I’m very afraid, if others can change, what is going to keep me from changing?

And if I do, will it be something horrible?

2-21-05 

                We’d split the night into watches before we hit the sack, and Olivia woke the group up during hers. We woke up to find the oddest creature sitting beside Olivia. It was a man of average height and build, wearing jeans and a leather jacket, and sticking out of those jeans was a big, bushy tail. And his head….was a coyote head!! He greeted us all very friendly-like, and Olivia introduced him as ‘Old Wolf” Since it was so close to morning we whipped up some breakfast which our guest shared with us, along with a bottle of Tequila he talked us out of. While we were eating, Old Wolf told us some really interesting things. First of all, he seemed to know all about us, what we were doing and the number of people that we were looking to be moving. He told us that he knew just the place for us to go! Some place near Durango, where someone built a house. A really BIG house, and that the guy who built it “Wasn’t bad for a white man”. He told us to find the place, we would have to go to Pueblo Bonito in Chaco Canyon. Once there we would need to dance for him. All of us, and there would have to be lots of naked women, and music, and naked women, and food, and naked women, and alcohol, and some more naked women. Michael asked him if he was one of he changed ones, but he said that he had always been there, that he had been away for awhile, but now he was back. And with that he finished off the tequila, and strolled on down the road.

                I know this sounds crazy, but I think he was the “Coyote” straight out of the legends of the southwestern Tribes that I read about. But where as that Coyote was always tricking people, I believe this one. I think that he was sent to lead us to a safe place. If no one else believes him and is willing to go to Chaco Canyon, I am.

                After we cleaned up breakfast, we hit the road again. Sticking to access roads, just like yesterday. At one point we came around a blind corner and the road was blocked by two tanks. One of the soldiers waved us to move forward, since we really had no choice we did.  He took a look at all of us, but took a looong look at Olivia. He called for an officer to come out, calling her a “Positive”. So anyway, this guy comes around the tanks, looks at Olivia for a minute and says to her “As I would not be a slave…..”

So Olivia said, “so I would not be a master”.

                Well, he asked us a few more questions and he must have decided we were okay, because then he called for one of his men to join us. And around the tanks came……a human tank. If the president is a Dwarf, and that pilot was an Elf, this man was an Ogre. And indeed, the officer confirmed that in school the guys nickname was “Ogre”, so that’s what he became.

                He started telling us some stuff. Apparently the military has split in two. Half of them remaining loyal to Ventura, and the other half working with the CDC/NSA. This group is obviously not with the CDC, and he told us that they are using Lincoln quotes to identify each other. Also, most of the big cities are in ruins or are being fought over by the two forces, That there seem to be more “Changelings” in areas where there are strong emotions, and the theory is that positive thoughts and emotions can bring about favorable changes and that they occur more quickly, but in an area filled with negative emotions, fear and hate, the changes that take place are horrible. (That Goth in NYC??) He suggests to us that we should paint the Hummer white, with “IFOR” on it. Apparently both sides of the Army are accepting the UN forces as being truly neutral.

                But when we asked him if he knew anything more about President Ventura, he became real reluctant to talk. When Olivia tells him some of the things that we learned from Cordelia, he said that the president would be real interested in that information, so Olivia asked him how we might get that info to him, and he said “He’s a Dwarf, where do you think the King Under The Mountain would be?”

                It all made so much sense to me, I couldn’t help it, and I just blurted out, “Cheyenne Mountain He’s at NORAD” And the guy said yeah, he and the rest of the Joint Chiefs are there.

                When we told him what we were out here doing, he suggested we check out Martinez Lake, that there was already a good-sized group of people there, also at Lake Mead. So we traded them a few things and headed on to Martinez.  When we got there we sat up on this overlook to observe for awhile, we could see that there were changelings and that there was a lot of work being done, so we decided to go on down. But Olivia decided that we should take care of the Hummer then and there. So she kinda of dug down into herself, and “did” something, I could feel a sudden flare of energy, and Olivia looked really kind of freaked out, then both she and the Hummer were surrounded by a silverish glow. And when it was gone…….the Hummer wasn’t exactly white like we were hoping it was, it was, well, psychedelic. Michael was NOT amused! But he did have to admit that there was no way we were going to be mistaken for any kind of military!

                Before we headed down to the camp, Malcolm changed into a uniform of his that he had brought along, and drove the lead car down into the camp. It was a good thing he did, cuz I think that was the only thing that got us thru the gate.  They took us in to see their “Leadership Committee”. I could tell right away, this was not the place for me. They were all older white men, with the very distinct look of ex-military guys. Malcolm explained to them our situation, and that we were looking for a safe place for a large group of people. They made it very clear that if people have skills to contribute to the group that they will be welcome. For example, since Malcolm is a policeman, and Michael a machinist, our whole group would be excepted, and if any of the “Lady-folk” had any skills, well than, that would be a bonus now, wouldn’t it?. They also made it very clear that they have set up and are enforcing the use of separate areas for different groups, one for couples, one for single men and one for single women. When Olivia and Justine press them on the subject of same-sex couples, I thought one of them was going to choke! He said that if there were any people “like that” they could live in the “Alternative” area.  So we told them that we would tell our people that this was an option for them, and we left.

                We all agreed that while some of the populace would be quite happy there, we would most definitely not be coming back.

                We hadn’t gone too far when we came across another roadblock, with 3 vehicles. Before we could do anything, we all had laser target lights on us. Someone at the roadblock ordered us to move up slowly or they would start firing. As we were doing just that, the computers in both of our cars clicked on and a horrible mechanical voice told us to get down and take cover. So, as best we could, we did. Outside, there were some horrible noises, like nothing I have ever heard. And the voice tells us that we can get up now, that the “Hostiles have been neutralized”.         

                When we get out of the cars, the armored vehicles have been smashed like empty beer cans, and thrown against the walls of the canyon we were in. And the people…. they were dead, and it looked like they imploded. It was awful. We looked around to see what had done it, but there was nothing to see. Olivia spotted something moving against the canyon wall, but we couldn’t really see anything. We searched thru the remains and salvaged what we could, some weapons and a first aid kit. We were just finishing up when the voice came back, and told us, that some “Incoming Hostiles” were headed our way. Once we go in the cars, it gave us some directions to an access road. We found it and as we were turning onto it I asked Michael “won’t they follow us in here?”, well, the computer must have still been on, cuz the voice told us that there was a lot of unexploded ordinance in the area, and if we stuck to the washes we would be okay.

                Well, it was right, as soon as we got into a wash, 3 tanks went zipping by without spotting us. Michael said that it sure was nice to have our very own Guardian Angel. The voice laughed at that and said that was a pretty good name.  It told us to take care and then the computers clicked off again.

                After driving thru the washes for awhile, we came across a road and decided that since we hadn’t seen anything for awhile that we would risk the road for the chance to pick up the speed. After a few miles we spotted a military Hummer wrecked in the middle of the road. We stopped to check it out, and as Michael approached it, he walked right into a trip-wire, setting off a landmine. The explosion sent him flying, when he hit the ground he was unconscious and bleeding horribly.  We all ran to him, and I tried to repeat whatever it was that I did for Justine. It worked; I felt the same surge of energy running thru me into Michael. But when it was over, it just wasn’t enough, Michael was still bleeding. Olivia knelt down by him and asked the God that she follows, Crom, to help her heal Michael. When nothing happened, she threw her head back and yelled out “Crom! I demand healing for this man, right now!”

                The energy that surrounded the two of them, made the energy that I created look like nothing. And when it was gone………Michael was whole again! He was looking at the Hummer, and himself, and then he looked up at Olivia and I and started to say something, but stopped. When I looked over at Olivia to see what he was staring at I could not believe it. She had completely changed in those few seconds! Her skin is totally black, her hair is a glowing white, her eyes are violet and all her clothes were gone!

                So I checked to make sure that Michael was truly okay, and then went to scrounge thru mine and Justine’s things to find some clothes for Olivia. When I got back to her, she was still in a daze. After we all took some time to get over the shock of all that had happened, we started to look for more boobytraps. Olivia spotted them first, so we set off again with Olivia and Michael walking in front of the vehicles, to guide us around the mines. We soon came across another Hummer in pieces. This time Michael was very careful approaching, and he and Malcolm decided that it must have been the one laying the mines, when it hit a bump and set off a mine that was still in the vehicle.

                Several miles away, we were just about ready to get off this road when we spotted a helicopter painted with the UN colors. Malcolm said it was a Russian helicopter and the crew would most likely be Russian, too. We debated trying to sneak around them, but decided to just drive right up to them and say we had been out camping and were lost. It worked pretty well, mostly because they were getting their English out of a book. They asked for a carton of cigarettes, and let us pass. Once we got on the main road, Michael tried using his CB radio to get some info on what was ahead of us. Someone told him that there was a bunch of truckers holed up at a truckstop. We decided that we would try heading that way. We were almost there when someone else came on the radio asking Michael if he was “Riding a war pony with a wild paint job?”. When Michael confessed that he was, this guy told us “Nothing for you walking the white man’s path, the RedRoad is the one for you”. So we pulled out the maps, and right there in front of us was a road leading to a reservation, so we took it and were met by a Tribal Policeman who told us that he had been sent by our “Guardian Angel”. He took us to his headquarters for hot showers, food and a place to hide our cars. While we were cleaning up, he told us that the truckstop we had been headed for is held by the NSA and they are using it to catch positives. It was really kind of funny, that was as close as he got to saying anything about Olivia. He took us home for dinner and his mother fed us up good! While we were eating he filled us in with what he knew.

                Most major population areas are in ruins. The power from all the emotions are like a big pool of power, and some people have figured how to tap it and use it. The military and police have divided and are fighting among themselves. The forces aligned with the NSA are trying to get to Colorado Springs to capture Ventura, but can’t get past Phoenix and Albuquerque. They seem to just assume that the Tribes are obeying them, and the Tribes are doing what they can to foster that impression.  Our host suggested that if we want to move pretty much unhindered that we should paint the cars with Tribal colors and move the populace thru reservation land whenever possible.

                He also saved us a trip to Lake Mead; he had fresh info about what’s going on there. Apparently the people who are congregating there are in total denial about what’s going on. And as a result, they are sucking the area not only of any kind of positive energy, but of Spiritual energy as well. So we decided that with the info we have we can go back and report to the populace what we’ve learned. And we decided among ourselves that there is no way in Hell any of us will go to either Martinez Lake or Lake Mead. So we’re going to Chaco Canyon to see if Old Wolf was selling us a line or not.

                During dinner, Mama had been telling us about some “critters” that she had been seeing around the place for the last few nights, well it piqued my curiosity, so while the others were getting ready for bed, I went outside and found a nice quiet place out in the dark. I just took some time to be quiet and to be in the quiet, with no distractions. After some meditation and reflection, I noticed that there were indeed some “things” out there with me. I tried to invite them closer, trying to sound much calmer than I felt. And after some coaxing, a few of them did come closer. The only way I can describe them is to use something I read in a book once, they looked like elementals. One looked like a tiny little creature made of flames, another like a little dirt-devil, and the third one looked as if it were made of water. I sensed no danger at all from them; in fact, the little fire-guy seemed to be playing with me! There was noise somewhere off in the distance that startled them, but as they ran off into the dark, I swear I heard them laughing. So, with my curiosity piqued even more, I came in and went to bed.

2-22-05

                We got up early and headed back to the Tribal police station to work on the disguise for the Hummer. Michael gave it a quick paint job, and our host scrounged up an old lightbar from an old policecar, and Michael attached it to the Hummer, and it looked pretty official. The also scrounged up a couple of Tribal uniforms.

                While Michael was working on disguising the Hummer, Justine and I worked on disguising Olivia. Mama called in some teenaged girls from the Res. to help us. They dressed Olivia in some horrid old-lady clothes, covered her face with a few layers of really bad makeup and plopped a big ol’ floppy hat on her head. And then, to Olivia’s great disgust, they loaded her down with rosaries and cross necklaces. Mama and the girls swore she looked just like a missionary who had been thru the area a few months back. They even taught Olivia some of the old dear’s favorite phrases and quotations. For an added guarantee that no one would get close enough to see thru the makeup, they hosed her down with enough bad Avon perfume to stink out a cathouse. So our story, if anybody stopped us, was going to be that Michael and Malcolm are Tribal cops escorting some missionaries to another Res.  Mama gave us some of her wonderful fry-bread and some chicken to eat on the road, and with thanks and hugs to all our new friends, we headed back t the road.

                We didn’t get more than 20 miles or so before we hit an NSA roadblock. We rolled down the windows to talk to them, and when they got a whiff of Olivia, you could see them back away. Before they could even start to hassle us, Olivia started in on a “Have you been saved” riff, and they just waved us on by! It worked just as well at the next 2 roadblocks we hit.

                Sticking to the main roads, we made good time and got back to Estrella fairly quick. I think it took longer to get past our own gate guard than it did the NSA roadblocks! Word of our return spread quickly. And the populace started to gather to hear our report.  But we had to report to the royalty first, after a bunch of bullshit, they decided to go with our suggestion; tell everyone all the options and let each person make their own choice. The populace took less time to decide than the royalty did. We set up 3 different areas as gathering places for each destination, and started to divide up the supplies. The hospitillars and chirurgeons divided everything equally, but then there was an argument about that! The chivalry demanded that they should get the majority of the supplies. Well, the other groups were having none of that, so they finally shut up. Thank goodness they’re all going to Martinez Lake. I’m sure they will be quite happy there.

                The group going to Chaco with us seems to be the largest, and someone proclaimed that it will be a “Pointy-Hat-Free-Zone”. The laughter over that seemed a bit forced, but at least we’re all trying to keep it together. So after the initial plans were made, and everybody was packed up, we are all going to try to get a bit of sleep before hitting the road. I don’t think there will be much sleep, though. People are scared, and the sight of the new Olivia freaked a lot of them out. Even Cordelia freaked; she’s so uncomfortable being around Olivia, that she is here, sleeping in my tent. But she was freaked out by Jennifer, too. The way I look at it, if Jennifer is ok being Olivia’s “love slave”, (and Olivia is certainly ok with the arrangement) then it is none of my business. But then again, I am just too damned tired to think about it anymore than that. As for Cordelia, she’ll just have to get the Hell over it!

2-23-05

                Hit the road with first light, the 5 of us (Michael, Malcolm, Justine, Olivia and myself) agreed to go on ahead of the group, acting as point. The idea being that if we stayed 5 minutes or so ahead of the rest, we would be able to give them some kind of warning if something were to happen. Olivia was going to have Jennifer ride with Cordelia, but Cordelia was very unhappy with that idea, so Olivia brought her along with us, instead. Malcolm was telling me that he figures there must be about a thousand of us in close to 300 vehicles. I have no idea how we’re ever going to get that many people as far as we have to go.

                Anyway, all morning things went by without a hitch, and we found ourselves coming up on a town called Oracle. We dropped some traffic cones in the middle of the road (that was the signal we agreed upon this morning, so the rest of the group would see them, stop, and stay there ‘til we contacted them). We left the vehicles (and Jennifer) and walked towards the town limits. The place was deserted. There were fires burning all thru town and there was absolutely no sign of life. Not even dogs or birds. Then we saw this…..thing dancing down the street towards us. It looked just like that thing we saw on TV destroying NYC. This one looked like it was a girl, and when she spotted us, her eyes started to glow and we could see sparks of electricity leaping from her fingers. After what we had seen that one in NYC do, we didn’t hesitate. We all opened fire at the same time.

                I couldn’t believe what I saw; she actually looked shocked that we were shooting at her. It appeared to me, that while she was throwing lightning at us, she was also trying to use the lightning to shield her from the bullets. It worked for a few seconds, but then some of the bullets got thru and hit her. It looked as if the lightning turned against her, and she burned up, just like a torch.

                After we made sure she was dead, we searched the town, but we didn’t find anything. No people, no more whatever she was, nothing moving at all. But we did find that most of the buildings on the far side of town were still usable. So we agreed to bring in the populace and camp in that area for the night. And to search further for anything worth saving.

                We found plenty of food and enough working plumbing for people to have nice hot (if short) showers. While we were searching, somebody found in one of the houses, some family pictures that included a teenaged girl dressed in the latest Goth fashions. There was one photo that showed her wearing the same t-shirt and leather coat that the “thing” that attacked us had been wearing.

                Another group found a boy hiding in some trees. He told us that his name was Billy and he’d been there for a few days, hiding from “Sally”. He said that he’d been in hiding ever since he’d heard the town’s minister, telling his parents that Sally was possessed and that he was going to go perform an exorcism to “save” her. Not to long after he’d left, Billy heard shooting, explosions and people screaming. He saw some of the explosions and Sally walking thru the streets. “But she looked kind of dead” he told us. That was when he ran off and he’d been hiding ever since.

                One of the families said they would take Billy with them, Some of us went with him to his home so he could pack some of his things. When we found the remains of his folks, we buried them, and Billy and I said some prayers for them.

                And now, as I lay here, unable to sleep again, I realize that I have the answer to the question I was asking myself after the massacre of the Horde back in Estrella. Could I do what Olivia did? Just pull out a gun and start shooting someone, without asking any questions, without hesitating? It seems I can, and I will, and I did. I don’t know what to think of that.  But it does cause more questions. Olivia has changed. Will I? Am I changing already? How else do I explain some of the things I’ve done the last few days? And if (or when) I change will it be into something horrible, like Sally?